Sorry for the long absence. Sorry to new friends and old for dropping the ball.

I've been very sick lately. More than I let on to most anyone, including myself. I hate being sick. And I'm terrified of being a burden. If people shuck me like so much wet clothing after a storm when I'm healthy, I don't want to learn what they will do to me when I can't pick myself back up again afterward.

I've been trying to move forward, find things to do to stay productive, but it's been tough going. I finally built the machine I wanted for SolidWorks, now that I receive SSDI, but between trying to drag unsupported software and hardware that the makers won't write XP x64 drivers for into the game, I find I've lost a lot of momentum, and it;s getting harder for me to learn something as complex as SW and use it effectively. I'm still working on it, although there are some other daily battles that take a lot of my time and energy.

And I'm still stung, a bit broken, and afraid from the last time I really took a chance on someone. I worry that I don't have what it takes to survive that sort of thing again, and certainly there are parts of me that will never heal from last time. If that's what it tkes to keep that from happening again, though, then that's a price I will just have to pay.

So if you feel I've snubbed you, or let the ball drop, it's not you. I promise. It's me.